Confessions

The wind of life beats me down, but I won’t fall. 

I lack an honest and keen awareness of what I’m feeling.  I say I’m ok, when I’m not.  I’m a slow processer.  Sometimes it takes me a couple days to internally regulate my emotions and thoughts to be able to share them.  I’d like to see a decrease in the amount of time it takes to become aware.  I find acceptance either way!

I struggle with empathy, and I may appear to ‘not care’. I have been working on this, but don’t feel like I’m improving as quickly as I’d like it to.  I’ll continue to be patient and putting in the practice.  I am seeing small steps of improvement!  Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day!!

Over the past year and a half I have felt afraid that if I show my true self, I am unlovable.  As a result, I have not been showing up authenticity, but showing up as how I feel people want me too.  However; I am getting better at not caring about others approval and I have seen and felt genuinely accepted by people I associate with.  This feels amazing!  Keep going!

I’ve been holding stress regarding being told I had been gaslighted.  I have a slew of negative fears and paranoias that I don’t share out loud and I internally validated all of them when I heard this.  Now I can’t discern what the truths are.  This occupies more of my mental energy than I’d like it to.  Today I let go and move on.  The day continues with or without me…so let’s go play! 

I am definitely getting back to a sense of self…I will continue to seek out hobbies and friends with mutual interests!  I will continue working on redecorating the house to fit my personality and passions!  I have an amazing life 💕

I am a warrior!




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