Live and let live

Listening to an AA speaker talking about the concept of:

Live and Let Live

This is my life, what do I want to do with it.  How can I detach from the responsibility of caring for others and care for myself?

Go live life!!

Find my passions…what is it I can do to ‘lose’ track of time?

Life is beautiful 

I have noticed that I lost myself and became so enmeshed with Allan that I literally stopped being me.  I started being his mini-me.  Wearing clothes like him (except the yoga pants lol), journaling like him, listening to mostly the same music as him…gross and appalling.  I’m embarrassed that I didn’t see or change this.  I forgive myself for this.

My thoughts were consumed with how he was and what he needed, to the point I couldn’t actually be there for him consistently…I forgive myself for this.

I strive to be the center of attention and I act out and cause drama when I don’t feel like I am.  I am a mere human after all.  I can work on this!

My main takeaway is a surplus of gratitude for all of the fun times, shared laughter and memories.  I want to remember the feelings of happiness, connection and overflowing joy.  The shared commitment to internal growth and accountability.  The strength and encouragement that we shared.  I’m grateful I never gave up.  I personally believe we both gave it all we had.  

I choose to use this chapter to grow me into something so beautiful!  I am a warrior!!

Allan,  I will always see the strength and willingness in you to keep doing the next right thing.  Your sense of adventure and fearless spirit are unmatched.  Break ice baby and go get life!!  I will get to a place of forgiveness for the hurts I feel, and have caused, but regardless…you can always sit by me.  Always here.  💕

I am loyal, generous, witty, hard working, and trustworthy.  

Amanda Lorraine Twila Erwin- I love you!  💕


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